Friday, December 5, 2008

Walk the Plank!

By Rick Richardson

Everyone in the Raider organization should wake up Friday morning feeling utterly embarrassed. I am not talking about just last night’s NFL-NFL Europe exhibition game disguised as prime time football. I am talking about everyone who has made even the most insignificant decision involving the Raiders, from the top down, since January 26th, 2003. Anyone who has had a role in this sad, one act play about a down trodden pro football team, and it’s never say try attitude. Al Davis should be embarrassed for letting his beloved franchise fall into decay as he chased victories in court rather than wins on the field. Any coach who has taken the reigns no matter how short their tenure, and especially for any player that has accepted millions of dollars in exchange for lame excuses and self-pity. Too many have bought into the “poor me, I am stuck playing for the Raiders” line that is now as synonymous with the Raiders as the once proud “Mystique” of yester year. The fans are tired, and in the spirit of the high seas, it is time for someone to “Walk the Plank” at the end of this season.

Would the following please report to the deck and step up to the board:

*Tom Cable we hardly knew ye.
*Rob Ryan we knew ye too long.
*Kwame Harris and his attention span of a gnat can jump offside the Raider ship as opposed to the Raider line of scrimmage.
*Ronald Curry and his newly found hands of stone.
*Javon Walker who has given new meaning to the eighties verse “Money for nothing”.
*Andrew Walter and his lethargic presence.
*Hiram Eugene, the epitome of the Raider scholarship.
*Jake Grove the oft injured and oft beaten.
*Cornelius Greene the Kwame Harris to the right of JaMarcus Russell.
*Robert Gallery’s first round, second overall contract, to be replaced by the 3rd round contract that is commensurate with his play.

In addition, if we could only bring in these underachievers for one day and a walk on the plank:

*Randy Moss for putting the “I” in quitter.
*Lane Kiffin who displayed his marvelous speaking ability along with his maturity level in the NFL Network short clip of his U. of Tennessee press conference. I know, it is unfair to expect a boy of his age to show at least some gratitude for the lottery he won when he found the golden ticket in the Willy Wonka chocolate bar.
*Warren Sapp who displayed his total lack of loyalty by denying any involvement with the Raiders and shrewdly deflecting the chaotic banter from Marshal Faulk and his junior high buddies with nonsensical zingers.
*Marshal Faulk for wondering aloud in amazement how the poor Raider players could dare go on with such tragic events unfolding before their eyes. His display of selfless compassion for the destitute grown men playing a child’s game, while collecting meager millions helped to further endear him and his entitled brethren to the season ticket holders nation wide who share his concern.
*Chris Collinsworth who was able to create new players such as “Kevin Walter”, in between Raider jabs, and Charger adulation.

After Thursday night I feel like many other Raider fans; embarrassed because the horse we keep beating by all accounts looks to be deceased.


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